For less than 2weeks it should be my final judgement day.
If my intuition doesn't go wrong this time, exactly a week from now, at this very moment, I should've grabbed my result slip tightly, either with the brightest smile ever or tears rolling down cheek.
The end will be clear and indisputable.
I have no right and power to question on it or to change it.
And may it be the remarkable moment for me to stand high on peak of glory... or the darkest moment for me to stay out of public sight as a shameful loser,
destiny has already sketched that path for me, and I'm obliged to travel on it.
Have been living days without worries for two and a half months,
I can sum such lifestyle up in a few words- relaxing, peaceful and aimless.
Relaxing as there's no packed schedule for each day that is coming... and sometimes schedule is not in need at all.
Peaceful as I don't have to worry for stacks of homework and intimidating exams anymore... they've belonged to my past since the day I bid farewell to school life.
But aimless as goals seem to have vanished from my days... I've used to the daily treadmill, without any certain goal which needs to be achieved.
Waiting for Godot? No, I'm not.
People like to ask me if sitting at home to do nothing instead of "finding a part-time job which'll help you to gain experience for your life afterwards" is a sensible choice??
And for every time I reply, I hold no doubt and tell them, "SURE".
It's actually all up to us whether to manage our own time purposefully or simply let it sneak away, isn't it?
I can't remember the times people around grumbling or lamenting over their "loss" financially as well as mentally just simply because they didn't get themselves into working.
So to go on working is the ultimate and compulsory option for every "postgrad" from high school like us huh?
What a big joke.
There's a term known as self-enrichment.
Though I've spent most of the time solely at home for the past 2months,
I never feel that my life is meaningless.
You see... I've gone through all the trials in order to get my driving licence so that I can finally drive on road legally,
I could finally finish the books which I had never got free time to look at before the final exam,
look through photos, videos and any other evidence to reminisce the good old days in school...
And my effort to improve English leads to positive outcome, by leaps and bounds!
I've made new friends... quite a number! It feels good to talk to new people and explore the world beyond my horizon.
And I've learnt that farewell doesn't necessarily mark the end... we are still who we are, nothing changes for us :')
I have no regrets for what I've done and what I'll be facing tomorrows.
Be it the most glorious moment or the most painful elimination in my life,
I've vowed to accept them as a part of my journey.
Because I've come a long way......
23.2.11
Facebook Abuses
Facebook has been one of the thrills which has kept me in enthusiasm for quite a long time.
When I first came to FB, it just seemed like another boring and mundane social website (Friendster etc.) to me.
And I guess when I started to discover the mystical flair within itself,
waves and buzz were going all around the world,
and since then Facebook was crowned the indisputable ruler of this cyber empire for the first decade of 21th century.
I reckon that Facebook has literally made our virtual network more lively and vivid as compared to the past decades,
but there're just some weird phenomenons which I can never fathom out,
and to me, they are sometimes unreasonable and annoying.
The following results are merely based on my personal observations and interpretations confined to my region, they might not be (or probably won't be) true globally.
First of all, relationship abuse.
The scene of an endless list of sisS, broS, dadS, mumS, relationship partnerS etc. fills me with disgust.
Why? The reason is utterly simple.
It is acceptable if people choose to list out their real kin prior to these so-called family members.
But what we see is the opposite type of fact.
Interactions between real siblings aren't as much as the "so-called siblings", not to mention parents and children!
Ah and I doubt if those people are willing to add their parents as friends?
I can't cease sneering every time stumbling across pages which require me to scroll down painstakingly just to get rid of the annoying family trees as fast as possible.
The upcoming one, comments abuse.
I wasn't used to realise that comments could become an abuse,
but I understand much more now after being one of the victims for a few times.
It isn't considered a severe crime but, it annoys.
For instance, a person has just posted a new status, of which expressed his thought on life philosophy.
Then there comes an ignorant fella who instantly comments on this meaningful post:
"Come'on let's hang out this weekend I'm sooooooooooooooooo bored at home!!!!"
MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure that he'll be doomed in his stupidity sooner or later.
Second case will be, a couple of ignorant fellas start chatting in their own personal universe after leaving comments.
It's all about digressions.
And you should become aware that they choose to chat in other's status site, instead of private chat room!!!!!!
Why are there always some people who are dreadfully lack of common sense that I'm too lazy or fatigued to criticise at,
don't they get annoyed to see 10++/100++ notifications just to realise that these are all junk attributed to conversations between two idiots who have no idea where the chat room is located, or simply mistake "comments sections" as "chatting sections"?
The last one is actually sort of trivia but I occasionally have a bad feeling towards it.
Likes abuse.
As all facebook-ers are familiar with, the tiny "like" button shows that you like (as literally), support or agree with a statement, picture, video etc..
I recently found out that some people will just click every single "like" for every single post that comes into their sight.
At first, I just thought that it was a form of "recognition".
But soon, I learnt that this is actually known as abuse.
Those specific "likes" originated from the specific people downgrade the content of my posts, making them superficial albeit they aren't.
Hmm...... I wonder if Mark should introduce a "delete" feature for "like" too just as for comments in the future??
When I first came to FB, it just seemed like another boring and mundane social website (Friendster etc.) to me.
And I guess when I started to discover the mystical flair within itself,
waves and buzz were going all around the world,
and since then Facebook was crowned the indisputable ruler of this cyber empire for the first decade of 21th century.
I reckon that Facebook has literally made our virtual network more lively and vivid as compared to the past decades,
but there're just some weird phenomenons which I can never fathom out,
and to me, they are sometimes unreasonable and annoying.
The following results are merely based on my personal observations and interpretations confined to my region, they might not be (or probably won't be) true globally.
First of all, relationship abuse.
The scene of an endless list of sisS, broS, dadS, mumS, relationship partnerS etc. fills me with disgust.
Why? The reason is utterly simple.
It is acceptable if people choose to list out their real kin prior to these so-called family members.
But what we see is the opposite type of fact.
Interactions between real siblings aren't as much as the "so-called siblings", not to mention parents and children!
Ah and I doubt if those people are willing to add their parents as friends?
I can't cease sneering every time stumbling across pages which require me to scroll down painstakingly just to get rid of the annoying family trees as fast as possible.
The upcoming one, comments abuse.
I wasn't used to realise that comments could become an abuse,
but I understand much more now after being one of the victims for a few times.
It isn't considered a severe crime but, it annoys.
For instance, a person has just posted a new status, of which expressed his thought on life philosophy.
Then there comes an ignorant fella who instantly comments on this meaningful post:
"Come'on let's hang out this weekend I'm sooooooooooooooooo bored at home!!!!"
MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure that he'll be doomed in his stupidity sooner or later.
Second case will be, a couple of ignorant fellas start chatting in their own personal universe after leaving comments.
It's all about digressions.
And you should become aware that they choose to chat in other's status site, instead of private chat room!!!!!!
Why are there always some people who are dreadfully lack of common sense that I'm too lazy or fatigued to criticise at,
don't they get annoyed to see 10++/100++ notifications just to realise that these are all junk attributed to conversations between two idiots who have no idea where the chat room is located, or simply mistake "comments sections" as "chatting sections"?
The last one is actually sort of trivia but I occasionally have a bad feeling towards it.
Likes abuse.
As all facebook-ers are familiar with, the tiny "like" button shows that you like (as literally), support or agree with a statement, picture, video etc..
I recently found out that some people will just click every single "like" for every single post that comes into their sight.
At first, I just thought that it was a form of "recognition".
But soon, I learnt that this is actually known as abuse.
Those specific "likes" originated from the specific people downgrade the content of my posts, making them superficial albeit they aren't.
Hmm...... I wonder if Mark should introduce a "delete" feature for "like" too just as for comments in the future??
19.2.11
Dreams......
"I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
......
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
......
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed"
"There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe"
These are my all-time favourite lyrics, just to name two.
Meaningful, inspirational and heart-touching.
Hopes are created within those powerful lines, and the cruelty of reality seems to be outshone by the light of hopes.
But does real life approve that...... I do wonder, I can't cease wondering.
I'm totally torn apart between dreams and reality.
And I guess nothing is going to change anything except my own will.
I'm not sure if my decision could bear me a bright future as desired by anyone else in this universe,
and even though it isn't going to,
at least I don't betray my heart and I don't kill my own dreams.
Exceptional cases are always there and they don't usually come up as there aren't many people who're willing to make attempts, or more precisely, to take the risk.
And in fact I always hold the notion that if you pursue your own dreams with all the courage you could ever muster,
you'll be a miracle yourself.
Being one who believes in miracle so much, I should be able to defend my belief in life as well......
A tribute to Robert Frost, his workpiece The Road Not Taken which has left profound impact on me... my everything
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I......
Could I take the one less traveled by?
When hope was high
And life worth living
......
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
......
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed"
"There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe"
These are my all-time favourite lyrics, just to name two.
Meaningful, inspirational and heart-touching.
Hopes are created within those powerful lines, and the cruelty of reality seems to be outshone by the light of hopes.
But does real life approve that...... I do wonder, I can't cease wondering.
I'm totally torn apart between dreams and reality.
And I guess nothing is going to change anything except my own will.
I'm not sure if my decision could bear me a bright future as desired by anyone else in this universe,
and even though it isn't going to,
at least I don't betray my heart and I don't kill my own dreams.
Exceptional cases are always there and they don't usually come up as there aren't many people who're willing to make attempts, or more precisely, to take the risk.
And in fact I always hold the notion that if you pursue your own dreams with all the courage you could ever muster,
you'll be a miracle yourself.
Being one who believes in miracle so much, I should be able to defend my belief in life as well......
A tribute to Robert Frost, his workpiece The Road Not Taken which has left profound impact on me... my everything
| I shall be telling this with a sigh | |
| Somewhere ages and ages hence: | |
| Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— | |
| I took the one less traveled by, | |
| And that has made all the difference |
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I......
Could I take the one less traveled by?
12.2.11
Some random statements that make me sad
1) I can't help but smile when we talk...You just make me happy
Things have changed since the moment I couldn't stay around you as usual as I was used to... How hard it is to look for you and just to ask that "Is anything alright recently?"... But for the last time I saw you I smiled brightly and how happy I was for the entire day, as always as I do.
2) I love it when I see you... you brighten up my day
The contradiction of loving you has been a part of my life since that one moment in my life. But for the smiles you've shown... it'll be the most vivid and evocative memory ever to me... that makes my day always :')
3) I love it when someone you miss randomly text you
Miracle happened, for only once in my life. And that was something which really touched my heart deeply and injected an almost permanent stimulant into my soul. I read those little messages over and over and over again... until I cried over and over and over again in absence of you.
4) I hate it when I get a text and it's not from whom I want it to be
This stabs deeply into my heart... Yeah I always know how silly I am to hope that someday you would just send me a message to wish me well... or ask if I'm doing well up here in the new kind of life... And all of these fantasies will never come true as my heartbeats accelerates while message alerts strike my mind, and the excitement fades away immediately afterwards just because it isn't from the only one whom I want it to be.
Things have changed since the moment I couldn't stay around you as usual as I was used to... How hard it is to look for you and just to ask that "Is anything alright recently?"... But for the last time I saw you I smiled brightly and how happy I was for the entire day, as always as I do.
2) I love it when I see you... you brighten up my day
The contradiction of loving you has been a part of my life since that one moment in my life. But for the smiles you've shown... it'll be the most vivid and evocative memory ever to me... that makes my day always :')
3) I love it when someone you miss randomly text you
Miracle happened, for only once in my life. And that was something which really touched my heart deeply and injected an almost permanent stimulant into my soul. I read those little messages over and over and over again... until I cried over and over and over again in absence of you.
4) I hate it when I get a text and it's not from whom I want it to be
This stabs deeply into my heart... Yeah I always know how silly I am to hope that someday you would just send me a message to wish me well... or ask if I'm doing well up here in the new kind of life... And all of these fantasies will never come true as my heartbeats accelerates while message alerts strike my mind, and the excitement fades away immediately afterwards just because it isn't from the only one whom I want it to be.
6.2.11
Single Aristocrat
I proudly proclaim myself as a single aristocrat for now and forever in my life.
Well this idea may not last long just like any other decision I've made in the past,
as things always turned out to be better than my expectation before they actually came true.
Tear after tear over my upcoming graduation from high school for the very last school month,
and now I'm trying to express my calmness afterwards in front of the computer with a wry smile on my face.
I thought my days would be doomed with his figure remains a past tense in my life,
yeah that was true for the beginning, I felt empty.
But I recently discovered that I haven't thought of him for a pretty long while,
my mind is filled up with the new charm, new people, new hopes and I believe that there're more to come.
Life is indeed always full of uncertainties!
I can really convince myself that I finally understand that memories are to be lived but not to live in...
People come and go and there's nothing we can do to stop that if they're bound to leave, by mean of destiny.
I'm not going to weep in solace anymore...
Crying over a reality which'll always remain a reality is an act of trampling on youth.... and life!
Why do we love if it never lasts......
Why do I have to seal my heart for someone who'll never know that, and can never requite that...
But still my notion that I shall be crowned the single aristocrat throughout this lifespan remains steadfast...
I'm just...... feeling not necessary to end single days as there're so much for me to explore around the world...
After all I don't reject love... it does fancy me and I can't deny the power of its temptation.
Hmm... I guess this is just the other contradiction.
Have used to fall into them and climb up painstakingly with scars all over my soul and mind...
Thank God for creating a path ahead with the positive and negative sides arranged alternately,
or else I'd have succumbed to the cruel rules of this miserable life?
Nah......... this is not the Oscar I've known since time memorial ;)
I promise to continue defending my single life until...
perhaps one day in the very very far future,
God will send a right messenger to perform my devolution for that lovely title ;)
2.2.11
Happy Rabbit New Year
It's going to be a year ruled by every single rabbit in this universe.
Yes. The Year Of Rabbit has finally come...
For less than 10hours from now, we're going to wish everyone Happy Chinese New Year!
Years come and go just like that...
and I have to sigh over the cruel reality that time sneaks away just like that.
Am I being too pessimistic?
YEAH and sometimes get too sentimental about the past.
Still I can't change this fact as this is the way how I really am,
though I struggle at times, but such contradictions do help me a lot in order to discover more about myself,
and also to grow up more in face of LIFE.
No matter how this is the season of joy and warmth so there's no doubt that all of us will just indulge in the harmonious ambience of CNY...
A time for family and friends' gathering,
especially those who've gone far away from us on their ways...
Hence this might be the only opportunity to meet and reminisce about the golden old days...
Just like other festivals around the world...
CNY creates hope for the future among people because it somehow indicates another new beginning for us...
Thus my greatest hope in this Rabbit Year is that peace will arrive in time.
No more riot, rebellion or war in any form in all corners of the world...
Let our civilisation culture continue to prosper and let all human beings live in peace.
Happy Chinese New Year and may peace be with us always...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)